Divorced Parents

What to Do When Your Spouse Leaves

Dear Sara,

My husband has left and wants a divorce. We’ve had arguments and fights for the last two or three years but I never thought it would come to this. I have a girl age three and a boy five and they miss their father so much. The five year old asked if he promised to behave better would Daddy come back. I’m pretty sure he won’t come back because he has been seeing another woman. How can I reassure my kids and help them get through this?


Dear Sophie,

Divorce is so common these days and it’s always hard on the kids. Even with all the anger and hostility between you and your husband it’s important to your two kids to have a relationship with their father. Try to contact him and let him know that his kids still need him and make sure that they see him on some sort of regular basis. Some parents who are angry use the kids to¬†punish the absent parent. Don’t let your anger make your kids suffer.

It’s really easy for a person who is divorcing to complain to the kids about the absent parent. This is definitely difficult for the kids to handle. They love both of their parents and will continue to hope for them to reconcile. Do your best to reassure them that you love them and even if their Dad doesn’t live there he will continue to love them as well.  Take care of yourself and try to get some counseling to help you get through this. Group therapy might be a good option as it would give you a place to vent your anger.


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