Violent Teenager Abuses Mother

Dear Sara,
My fourteen-year-old son is completely wild. I have no control over him at all. His father left us when he was five and he has done whatever he wanted since then. If I don’t give him what he wants he hits me and thinks that the support money his father sends should be his to spend. I love my son but this is getting to be more than I can deal with. How should I handle this?
Edie

Dear Edie,
Your son shouldn’t be allowed to abuse you. If he does it again, call the police. He’s a bully and learning fast that this is the way to act to get what he wants. It’s teaching him that it’s OK to hit a woman. His father needs to assume some responsibility here. Maybe this is what your son wants and needs, attention from his father. If this isn’t possible then let your son know that if he doesn’t behave that you will go to court and put him in states care.
He seems to be intent on destroying his relationship with you. If his goal is to with his father and his father rejects him things could get worse. If possible, find a counselor that you can talk to and see if you can find some better ways to deal with your son.
Good luck.
Sara

7 Replies to “Violent Teenager Abuses Mother”

  1. It appears the Mother was too lenient from the get-go, and lost control early.
    The Mother did not mention how her son behaves and performs at school. There may be some input and help there from guidance counselors, depending on his situation at school.
    Does the Mother have another man (father, boyfriend, brother) who could intervene with authority to protect her and teach the kid proper behavior?
    Is the kid’s Father aware of this behavior? Does he even care? This is a necessary part of the equasion.
    I fully agree with her getting the State to intervene, if really necessary.

  2. She waited til now. I hope he gets help soon or we will be reading his name in the paper for abuse sometime down the road. He probably isn’t big or strong enough to challenge another male his size. Or has the balls to do so. Hey Mom give him some balls and call the authorities the very next time. Which I believe will be very soon.

  3. It is evident that mother has been trying to buy sons love since the father walked. She has been buying sons love, and it has gotten her nowhere. At 5 the son should of had behavior corrected, instead of just giving in. Which is evident by her statement:(he has done whatever he wanted since then). As an adult no one legally gets everything that they want, nothing is free in this world. Mother and son both need therapy. Pray she can get the son help he needs else he live life in and out of prison.

  4. Put 3 bar’s of soap ( any brand will do!)and the next time he touches you and inflicts pain,you let him go to sleep and then awaken him by beating the shit out of him with the soap n the socks,,,, then you can flush soap and the sock,,,,one at a time so you don’t stop up your drain and then dare him to lay one finger on you ever again.It sound barbaric but it work’s,,,then you swear you were defending yourself.Have a wonderful life

  5. It’s not OK to assault anyone, and beating your mother and getting away with it sends a very bad message this kid is on his way to a jail-house career…. call the cops!

  6. Letting this kid beat on his mother is sending the wrong message- it is NOT OK to beat your mother or anyone! A set-up for a career of violence which will end poorly at best. Call the cops NOW before it gets worse.

  7. He needs a good ass whooping! I would have never hit either of my parents, simply out of pure respect. And love. There is a difference between child abuse and discipline. I got my ass whipped as a child, a means of discipline and I can honestly say that I was not abused. That discipline probably contributed to me growing into a better adult, the person I am today.

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