Verbally Abusive Child

Dear Sara,

I am at my wits end. My daughter is twenty years old and still living at home. She can’t drive right now because she got caught drinking and driving so I have to take her to her job. She can be verbally abusive to me and sometimes when she gets angry she throws things. She has a boyfriend but she isn’t very nice to him either. I don’t know what her problem is but I also don’t know how much longer I can live like this. What should I do?

Dear Fern,

Sometimes when kids get to be a certain age they really want to leave home but don’t know if they are capable of taking care of themselves. Their unhappiness may come out as anger toward their parents. She could be trying to make you the bad guy for putting her out.

She could also be having some mental health issues that she is trying to medicate with alcohol. Why don’t you try to get her to a doctor for a checkup. Maybe there are some things that she could share with him or her that she wouldn’t be comfortable sharing with you. If she continues to verbally or physically abusive to you maybe it’s time for her to leave.

Good luck.

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