Unfaithful Husband

Dear Sara,

I have been divorced from Joe (not his real name) for four years now. We have a five-year-old son and a seven-year-old daughter. He seems to have a different girlfriend every month now and the reason I divorced him was because he was unfaithful several times that I know about. He lives with his mother now and has the kids every other weekend. They are crazy about him. Last weekend when he brought the kids home he spent Sunday night here. The kids were thrilled to find him here Monday morning. He said that he still loves me and wants us to get back together again. He promised me that he would never cheat again. I don’t trust him but I want my kids to be happy. What should I do?

Mary Kate

Dear Mary Kate,

If you and your husband got back together again, what would your life look like? Your kids would be happy. You would probably be happy for a while until the rosy glow wore off and then what? Even if Joe didn’t cheat, you would be constantly worried and checking up on him. He would probably get angry when he felt you didn’t trust him and then what would happen if he really did cheat on you again? You need to ask yourself these questions. Think about seeing a therapist who can help you sort all of this out before you make a decision. Another breakup would be very hard on your kids.

Sara

3 Replies to “Unfaithful Husband”

  1. hi
    DUE TO FACT , I AM ELDERLY HAD PROBLEM WITH HUBAND CHEATING , i found that he had been cheating from the very beganing , we seperated the first time because he was abuisive , his buddies talked me into letting him come back , i was PG with our first child ,this went back and forth thro the next child, then he had affair with 16 year old baby sitter, her mother wanted to send him to prison, if i left him ! i stayed, he talked me into having anouther ! { some off us never learn } any way at 86 and 3 children , the children don.t like me, tho i was the one that was there for them ! LEAVE HIM NOW FOR YOUR LIFE, CHILDREN WILL GET PAST IT IF NOT DON’T DO IT FOR THEM ! DOES NOT WORK JUST TURNS CHILDREN AGAINST YOU !

  2. To Mary Kate, Many times a spouse of either sex wants to be “all consumed” by their mate. This means that person wants to hear “Baby, I can’t wait until we can f**k the s**t out of each other tonight.” And if each of them are treating the other nicely when they are away from the bedroom, there is no reason not to “go wild” on each other when they are in the bedroom. However, I am not referring to any kind of pain or hurt. I have no tolerance for any kind of pain or hurt for anyone, anytime, anywhere. The pleasure and satisfaction that comes from true mental, emotional and physical love does not involve pain and hurt, ever. Best wishes and good luck!

  3. Been exactly where she is and once a cheater always a cheater. Not only that but the cheater starts accusing you of cheating and it never ends well. Children will get over it but you have one life to live and living it in a relationship where there is no trust does not make a happy ever after. Think about it. Children grow up and move on, you on the other hand have lost how many years just to make them happy for a few? Think of both your children and you. If you are not happy they will feel it and react to it. So do what is right for your happiness and they will eventually understand.

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