Struggling With Feelings For Son’s Teacher

Dear Sara,

I know you are going to think I am crazy but I am in love for the first time. I married my husband out of convenience and did not love him. He is a very nice, kind man and I am fond of him. We have four kids ages eight to fourteen. The man that I want to be with teaches my oldest son and I have been to all of the parent-teacher conferences. We get along so well. He is handsome and funny and I can see what a wonderful life we could have together. I think he feels the same way I do but he hasn’t said anything. I don’t know if I should tell my husband about this or my son’s teacher first. I don’t want to hurt my children by disrupting their lives so I am very confused right now. What do you think about all this?

Dear Cheryl,

You do sound very confused. A lot of women would envy you for having a kind husband. You really don’t have any idea how your son’s teacher feels about you so you could be putting your stable marriage in jeopardy for nothing. I would guess that part of a teacher’s job is being nice to his student’s parents, so you could be mistaking his interest in you as a parent as flirting.

You still have fairly young kids and a stable home life is very important to them. The best thing to do would be to wait a while and do nothing until you can get a clearer picture. In the meantime why don’t you see a therapist so that you can have someone to talk to about your feelings of love for this teacher and dissatisfaction with your marriage. Take your time and don’t rush into anything.

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