Son Hates Step-Mom

Dear Sara,

I was married for sixteen years and have been divorced for two years. I recently remarried and love my new wife. The problem is that my fifteen year old son Kevin hates her which makes his visits with me barely tolerable. Kevin either won’t talk to my new wife or makes rude comments. She has done nothing to deserve this. How should I handle this?
-Rob




Dear Rob,

Apparently Kevin was more upset by your divorce than you realize and for some reason blames your new wife for his pain. You can’t make him like her but you can insist that he be polite to her.

Your family may need to sit down with a family therapist and allow Kevin to tell you exactly what he feels and why. He may be able to tell you on his own how he feels but a professional would be better able to help him deal with it. You may also need to include your ex wife at times. For now don’t try to push for a relationship between your new wife and Kevin. He needs time and patience.
-Sara

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