Should I Let My Daughter Get An Abortion?

Dear Sara,

I have six kids. They have all been good kids and I haven’t had any problems until now. My youngest daughter who is sixteen told me yesterday that she took a pregnancy test from the drugstore and that she is pregnant. She claims she doesn’t know who the father is. She has decided that she wants an abortion. I have always been against abortion and want her to have the baby and give it up for adoption. Should I let her make her own decision?
-Susan




Dear Susan,

Probably the first thing to do is to take your daughter to a gynecologist and see if she is really pregnant. You are both in a lot of emotional distress right now and need some time to cool down and think about the best way to proceed. You have had six children so you know what your daughter will have to go through during pregnancy and childbirth. This isn’t easy plus she would have to go through the pain of giving up a child that she has carried for nine months If she decides on her own that she is willing to do this and that this is right for her, she will be better able to cope with the emotional and physical pain.

As her parent you may have the right to make this decision for her but as her mother and a woman you might want to be more understanding of the problems that your daughter will face. Either way, she may feel a lot of guilt. Help her to get counseling if she needs it.
-Sara

8 Replies to “Should I Let My Daughter Get An Abortion?”

  1. I can sympathize with your situation because I faced this as well when my daughter was 16. I implore you to allow your grandchild to be born. That little life will be a blessing. You will spare your daughter the pain and heartache of knowing she took the life of her child. I’ll never forget the day my daughter realized what she “might” have done many years later because she too wanted to abort at the time. Don’t let fear be your motivator. How would you feel if something happened during the abortion procedure that caused your daughter harm? How will you deal with having a hand in ending the life of your grandchild? My grandson just turned 24 and we cannot imagine our life without him. Abortion is never the loving option nor an easy way out. The consequences for all involved are dire. You will not help your daughter in the short or long term. All of our actions have consequences. Help her live with the decision to have sex outside of an ideal situation. Help her grow up and be a responsible young woman. Visit http://www.rtl.org or your local pregnancy help center for better advice than you received above.

  2. don not let her do this. she will regret this the rest of her life. this baby has the right to experience life. she is gods creation not hers

  3. HI SUSAN
    My name is Mary , I will share with you my own experience
    When I found out that I pregnant that the doctor ask me : if I want to abortion: he will help
    I was crying for more than half hour ….. should I keep …. or should I abortion. ..???????.: be honest in my minded I was thinking about abortion. … but as YOU … I never want … or think about it……
    : cause I am Catholic …. what should I do now :?????? I OFFERING MY BABY TO GOD and HIS MOTHER ….so SHE CAN TAKE CARE MY BABY AS HER CHILD….. THAN… WHAT EVER IT COME AFTER …. THAT I .
    Worry later … but doesn’t mean …. it clear my mind …. it still come up …. still worrying…. but each time come up …. I KEEP OFFERING AND PRAYING WITH GOD AND HIS MOTHER. … TO TAKE CARE MY BABY ASK THEIR OWN…. CHILD ….
    Do you what : she is 42 years old now …. she is not the most beautiful, sweetest and successful GIRL that we can dream off…. but she is very very helpful… when we have in bad shape. She is dermatologist doctor now .
    From my experience: i think you and your family: get together: thank GOD that YOUR DAUGHTER WAS HONEST AND TRUST YOU and YOURS FAMILY SHE :
    a- to tell the truth
    b-SHE NEEDS loving more more and more and UNDERSTANDING
    C- the rest of the children can learn from this situation… to avoid many circumstances… in the future :
    THE FAMILY JUST TOGETHER THANK GOD and THANK HER : ABOUT this ….and most important that :
    SHE WAS HONEST. Instead of she go and abortion… by. Herself !!!! and continue. .. to hide …aND abortions…… that you never known that …. what the future will be with the person … not honest ????
    D- she will learn from this …: hopefully she won’t full around again …. and your children will learn from this .
    1* your boy will respect ANOTHER GIRL WHEN THEY DATE : NOT TO SLEEP OR DISTROY OTHER GIRL LIFE LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER or their sister …. ( bring your family a lot of worry and sadness ) wandering what the future of your daughter will be ????? From this … they will learn GREAT LESSON JUST THANK GOD.
    2*, your other GIRL WILL LEARN …. not to trust and easy with the boys …. until they married ( that true love …. they respect. ….and WAITING until YOU READDY TO BECOME THEIR WIFE ??? THAT TRUE LOVE e BOYS THEY ASK YOU TO PLESASE THEM AND GIVE TO THEM NOW ……s as the toys for fun or self-catering for their need …. and after … they don’t responsible?
    If they CARE OR LOVE : WHY ANY OF THEM WILL JUMPING and SAYING I LOVE YOU AND YOURS BABY
    I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU ??????!!!!!! DON’T WORRY??????????
    Sandra I will praying for you and your family to go through this with LOVE AND TRUSTED GOD …. HE WILL TAKE CARE AND LOVING YOUR FAMILY MORE WITH THE GOING ….ON …. YOU CAN KEEP THE BABY OR ADOPTED… THE BABY LATER … BECA– USE IF YOU LET HER ABORTION… THAT MEAN … YOU OK WITH HER MISTAKE… THAT GET RID OFF … IT WITHOUT … THE RESPONSIBILITY WITH THE ACTION SHE DID … SHE KEEP IT : THAT NOT THE LESSON FOR YOUR DAUGHTER ONLY … BUT THE REST OF YOUR CHILDREN … CAN BECOME MORE MOORE MOOOORRRREEEE HEALTHY WITH THEIR LIFE IN THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE FUTURE OF THE OTHERS GIRLS AND BOYS … THAN THEY RELATIONSHIPS….. I believe THAT GOD WILL SHOWER BLESSING ON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AFTER THIS HAPPEN : TRUST AND LOOOOVVVVEEEE
    I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER LOVE

  4. This is really good advice. Both daughter and mom need counseling, and dad too, if he’s involved. I will be praying that the family can be united in whatever decision is made. I would like to add, however, that they should also take into consideration that at some point if the decision is made for abortion, that any or all of the family members may easily suffer guilt and anguish from that as well. If the daughter doesn’t know who the father is, chances are she is much more sexually active than her parents realized, and it seems the family has a lot of issues they need to address, and that they need to practice giving each other a lot of grace and forgiveness. This baby could be a blessing in disguise, to help the family deal with some unspoken issues which they’ve been ignoring or have been ignorant about. I would strongly suggest they try to move towards either adoption or to raising the child together. That would be the long-term healthiest option for all. But in any case, they all need wise counseling. Open Dialog is a form of counseling in which the entire support system is counseled together. It has been used with incredible effectiveness for psychosis, but also for less severe issues such as various family miscommunications, which at least seem to be present here. May the peace of God which passes all understanding guard this entire family as they go through these difficult times!

  5. I think your daughter will hate herself forever if she goes through with an abortion. Pray for the Lord to grant yourself and her guidance, and tell her to pray too. Make it clear to her that you don’t judge her but sincerely want her to think this through.

  6. I am a physician who had a 15 yo patient, the daughter of a dentist and who wanted to marry the 16 yo stud. My X-ray tech told me that the local Jr high and sr. High had baby fools that had to be fed, burped, picked up when she cried all day , had to o he carried when taken away from home, diapered whenever, and all things one has to do with a real baby. She, after less than one (1) week, she had the abortion. I, as a GP and Surgeon, could have done it, but I don’t believe in abortion on demand. For nieve parents, when I was in my Surgical training in 1968, the pediatric clinic called me about a pregnant nine yo girl. And again is called me for a suspected appendicitis; germ tests revieled Gonnorhea. In pvt. practice in 1973, I saw a 15 yo who was 5 months pregnant who DIDN’T EVEN SHOW.

  7. We have lost our way through Christ and knowledge of the bible that guides us. I have know a person who had an abortion and carried a life of guilt. When a person has conscience they know what is right or wrong and todays times allow all that is wrong. Counseling is a start depending on the counselor and you might be that one. A wrong decision can bring a life of guilt if one has that conscience but the right way may bring treasures beyond. As a growing mind she will have to learn and grow sooner but the decision of adoption would be better than aborting better yet, just accept the responsibility and grow with it…

  8. I agree with Sara. It is not your decision but your daughter’s. Be supportive and help her make the best choice for herself. Seek preventive measures for the future and find out why she is so sexually active with so many boys she doesn’t know who the father is. Get her help for that as well and make sure she does not have any STD’s. But always do it with love and concern for her, not judgement.

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