Dear Sara,
My son is seven years old now and big for his age. He completed first grade last year and his teacher recommended that he repeat first grade. I really think that this would be hard for him socially. He is going to be bigger than any child in his class. Should I go on and let him go into second grade and try to coach him at home or let him go through first grade again?
Karen
Dear Karen,
Even though your son is ahead of the other kids physically, he may be immature mentally. He could need some extra time to catch up or he could be struggling through school for a long time. However, a child’s social needs are just as important as his educational needs. It’s really difficult for a child to be the “odd man out.”
You know your own child best. Is he capable of sticking to extra work at home or is he lazy and easy going and doesn’t really care if he does well in school or not? If you think he would be capable of keeping up with some extra work then let him go on to second grade but if you see him as immature he could be better off in first grade again.
Sara
Hold him back now or commit yourself to working with him each night reviewing all work of the day. Use flash cards for numbers letters lower and uppercase. You will m red to practice writing and counting skills. If he is I. First grade or Kindergarten needs to begin learning the word list and reading on pre primer and primmer levels. These are things my grandson is learning in Kindergarten. When he enters 1st grade they will expect him to be able to do most of these things.
As a retired elementary teacher I would say, first sit down with your son and talk to him about repeating First Grade. Talk to him about what he thinks the problem was this year. First Grade is a good grade to repeat since it consists of the basics for reading and math. If he has not mastered these Second Grade and Third Grade will be more difficult for him, especially since the schools seem to think that all children should read fluently by third grade. Second Graders are expected to master regrouping and Third Grade now works with multiplication. When you work with him at home use old fashioned ways of doing math while explaining to him why. i found slower students cannot even understand the new ways of doing math and it doesn’t carry over to 3 places or more. Also in math have him write down on scratch paper or the side of his worksheet the steps as he does them. This helps them get the steps in their brain better. I had a regular classroom but had more than my share of special ed students, I guess because I was willing to give them individual attention.. I recently worked with a 4th grader with her math. She was having trouble getting correct answers with the core math process. She was reluctant to do it any other way as well and the teacher had told the parents not to teach it to them any other way. That’s when I noticed the process of core math does not carry over into double, triple or more places. When I insisted she give it a try she did well and picked it up. Some times it is better to repeat a grade to gain more confidence. You didn’t talk about his birth month, but I would assume it may be late summer or fall. if that is the case, then let him repeat and build a better foundation for his learning.
The devil is in the details. Not that we need to know! but get a clear picture from the teacher why they recommended that, and what would be needed to prepare him for second grade if you choose not to hold him back. Consider your time and other obligations (job? etc) too; if you’re overloaded and it proves more of a challenge than expected, you may not serve either him or yourself well by taking on the tutoring needed.
Having skipped most of first grade (except for the first six weeks), I can say from the flip side that there are indeed social consequences. 2nd grade, and always being a year younger than most others, were a bit difficult at times, and I’d say the consequences of being younger rather than older lingered for some years. I could read at near adult level by age four (kindergarten was not the norm back then, and the first grade teacher, seeing that the reading lessons were easy and a bit boring for me, opened an encyclopedia to a random article, which I could read aloud give or take an occasional unfamiliar word), but multiplication and division were a bit of a challenge at six; it didn’t help that I was nearsighted, which wasn’t discovered until I was seven. (make sure that he doesn’t need glasses! oddly, that probably speeded me up on reading, since in the car, I’d read traffic signs even though I could barely see them until they were very close indeed)
Being held back might have some disadvantages too of course, but I’d imagine (this is just a guess! better if you can get some feedback from someone familiar with a more similar situation) those to be limited to a year or two rather than longer; after that, any disadvantage of being a year older should diminish, as long as his temperament is not such as to misuse being older or larger than his grade peers.
Either way, best of luck. Since you’re concerned enough to give it serious consideration, he’ll probably be fine whatever you decide.
Don’t hold him back,it would worst possible thing you could do.I was held back because My parents thought I was to young to move on,can’t tellyou you how bad that made me feel