Sexually Active 13 Year Old

Dear Sara,

My thirteen year old daughter came to me complaining of a severe vaginal itch. I took her to my gynecologist for an exam and found out she has a sexually transmitted disease. I was shocked. She is not allowed to date yet. She was crying but told me she went with a boy to his car during half time at a ball game. Luckily her pregnancy test came back negative. She isn’t allowed to go anywhere without myself or my husband for now. How can I protect her from doing something like this again?

Dear Evie,

It may be too late for sex education. Your daughter already knows about what happens when you have unprotected sex. She needs to learn how to make good choices. Try to find out her views on sex and love and how much she already knows. Thirteen year old girls often think they know more than they do and often mistake sexual attraction for love.

Cover as many bases as you can. She needs to know about things like safe sex, condoms and the various sexually transmitted diseases. She also needs to know about what her life would be like if she got pregnant at her age (which was possible when she had sex with this boy). She could also get the reputation as “easy” if the boy brags about his conquest. Also let her know what your values are.

Additionally, her partner will need to be treated for the STD so she needs to contact him as well. You can let her tell him or you can contact his parents. He apparently was with someone else before your daughter. You can only protect her for so long. You can let her know how you feel about this and make her aware of the consequences and hope that she will make better choices in the future.


  1. A 13-yr old went to a boy’s car at half-time? She’s most likely a middle school CHILD who was taken advantage of by a kid at least old enough to drive. I’d be doing more than just talking to this kid. He’s apparently done this before and gotten away with it. He needs to be stopped.
    And little girl needs some insight and practice on how to say NO!!!!!

  2. Scripture says “ Raise up a child in the way of the Lord & when they are old they will not depart from it” Teach the 10 Commandments to your children! Thou shalt not commit adultery! Teach them all 10 & you as parents live them! Monitor the vile trash on t v & also the internet! Our world is so full of evil. Sex, murder, perversion ( same sex marriage ) & the perverse influence of homosexuality, its no wonder kids are messed up! REPENT and accept JESUS as Lord& Savior.

  3. Jan Siskin says:

    How could the parents not educate their daughter before? How else could they/she be so ignorant? In these times?

  4. murf appling says:

    U need to find the yellow, no good, *&^%$#@ that perpetrated this problem & let his
    lousy, ignorant parents know what he is carrying!! It took 2 2 tango on that dance floor, so from
    here on out, coming from a former public high school teacher, advise UR daughter, to never believe
    anything, anytime, anywhere coming from a so-called “boy friend”. Unless they R devout Christian believers, if their lips are moving they are lying & seeking only one thing!! Do not let her compromise her
    integrity over some “swinging &^%##” that says “he can’t live w/o U” or that lie stating “if U really love me U will ……….!”

  5. Evie, I’d think a talk with the boy with his parents present should be taking place. If he’s driving, he has to be at least 16 to be driving to school with no other licensed driver in the vehicle. Not just unprotected sex, but sex with underage girl, in addition to the sexually transmitted disease that he shared.

  6. Bad Penguin says:

    Very sensible advice but I must point out that the age of her “partner” should be verified as this can easily be turned into statutory rape case and should be if that is the case.

    Her “partner” is also spreading an STD. If he is knowingly doing it, then its typically illegal, civilly and criminally, to knowingly or recklessly transmit an STD. Its obvious this “partner” has a lot of experience preying on young girls so he has probably given this disease to other young girls in the area where you live. Its imperative that the local health department is involved to stop the spread of the diseases to other young girls he is victimizing.

    You didn’t specify which disease her “partner” gave your daughter but Chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts, trichomoniasis, and gonorrhea all can cause vaginal/vulvar itching and irritation and other symptoms. Any of the above can cause serious future health problems including fertility issues if it had progessed very far. Was she tested for HIV?

    Don’t come down on your daughter so hard she wants to run from you but she has to understand there are long term costs that are associated with becoming sexually active beyond pregnancy. Oh and just because a guy says he loves her doesn’t make it so. I have a friend that got pregnant when she was not much older than your daughter. When she told the father of her baby she was pregnant he started accusing her of being a slut and the baby wasn’t his all of the usual from a guy that wants to have fun but not the responsibility of the results of the fun. Her daughter is 20 now and has never met her father. He has no desire to meet her.

Speak Your Mind