Parents Are Getting Divorced

Dear Sara,

I am sixteen years old and I am feeling overwhelmed. My parents just told me they are getting a divorce. They seem to get along fine and I don’t hear them arguing. I just don’t understand this at all. The only thing that I can see is that my Dad wants to take a job on the West coast and my Mom makes good money where we live now. Dad has a good job here but I don’t think he makes as much money as Mom. I don’t really want to move either since I will be a junior next year and I would like to graduate with my friends. How can I get my parents to stay together?

Dear Kaitlin,

This may be something that may be beyond your control. Probably the only thing you can do is to plead with your parents to go to family therapy. They both think that they are right and this is why they are planning a divorce. Maybe if they try therapy they could come to some kind of compromise. There may also be problems that they haven’t shared with you.

If the worst happens and they get a divorce you could stay with your Mom and finish high school and visit with your father in the summer. I hope things work out for the best for you.


  1. Dear Kaitlin,

    I am sure both your parents love and care for
    you but they are at a turning point in their relationship right now. It appears that their
    careers are important to them wherever that
    takes each of them and you are caught up in
    it due to none of your fault you must understand.

    As far as continuing your education where
    you are currently would give you stability.
    Perhaps a relative who may reside where
    you are could allow you to stay with them
    while you attended school. That of course
    would be a lot of responsibility for you
    and a big decision for your parents to make
    on your behalf. It’s only a suggestion though.

  2. Maybe explain to your parents that the WEST COAST probably ISN”T the best place to live now. With
    all the illegals, your safety may be in jeopardy!!! AND, being such a LIBERAL STATE, your whole family may not be so happy there!!!

    • Bless your Trumptard heart pAT !!!

    • The WEST COAST is a lot of area, and can not be all classified and lumped together as being a “LIBERAL
      STATE”!!! I live in eastern Washington State, and it is, for the most part, very conservative, as is most of Oregon and California. It is mostly the large, metropolitan areas that can be considered LIBERAL. Granted, we do have our share of illegals, but our crime rate isn’t any higher than many other areas of the country. Most of the safety issues are the same as other areas of the country: drive defensively (watch out for impaired drivers), don’t sell or use drugs, don’t hang out with the wrong crowd, etc.

  3. Katilin, why do you think you would have to move? Would your mom prefer you live with your dad & only visit her in the summer? If so, you should consider sitting down with both of your parents & telling them how you feel about this. If your mom is going to stay where you all live now, you should be able to continue to live there & attend the school you currently go to. However, please please please do NOT listen to Pat who posted above me. Your safety would not be in any more jeopardy living on the West Coast than it would be anywhere else. That is a fallacy that Trump supporters would like everyone to believe. I assume that she thinks you will be living in S. CA. I don’t know where she lives, but there is a lot of miles of the US that constitutes the West Coast. It is not easy to make changes half way through high school, but I did it at your same age and ended up happier at the 2nd school then I ever was at the first. Good luck to you.

  4. Have you asked your parents about their plans.
    Have you told them your concerns.
    It’s very important for you to tell them your concerns and fears.
    Why do you think you have to move, if your mother is staying in your home in your school district. Hard and upsetting as this is for you your parents told you they were separating not leaving you. Unless there’s more than your letter is saying. Calm down and talk to your parents.

  5. Jonathan Ray says:

    Hi Kaitlyn, you really need to talk to your parents about this situation and tell them how you feel and what you’re thinking.

    They need to recognize (if they don’t already) that their separation would affect not only them but you as well, especially since you’re at a very critical stage in your life.

    Sounds like they need to mature a bit. And if they truly are mature (I can’t really tell if they are or not,) then they would seriously listen to you and give serious consideration to your thoughts and feelings.

    I wish you well.

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