New Mom Struggling To Cope

Dear Sara,

I have a three-month-old baby boy and I love him so much. He is cuddly and warm and I feel great when he is not crying. When he cries and won’t shut up, I want to do almost anything to make him stop. It scares me. I just turned seventeen and I’m living with my parents. They insist that I stay home and take care of him and be totally responsible for him while they go to work every day. I feel trapped by my baby. All my friends are out doing fun things and I feel like I am being punished. I am feeling really depressed. How can I get my parents to see that I can’t keep doing this?

Dear Samantha,

The fact that you are depressed and sound fearful that you could hurt your baby are very serious symptoms. It sounds like you think your parents are punishing you for getting pregnant. It may be that they are trying to teach you to be responsible for the life that you have brought into this world. Either way, it seems that you are being pushed beyond your limit.

As soon as possible try to talk to your parents about how you are feeling Let them know that you are depressed and worried about hurting your baby. If they don’t think this is serious then call Child Protective Services in your area. Maybe even though you love your baby he might be better off with parents who are better able to care for him emotionally. You say you want to be with your friends. This is normal for your age. Maybe doing what is best for your baby will be best for you as well in the long run.


  1. So, you want to be with your friends – one of them got you into this and will probably repeat it given the chance. Where is the father? He bears some responsibility. At 17 he could be charged with statutory rape. Stop whining and put on those big girl panties and think where this is going.

  2. Dear Samantha
    If one of your friends is also a mommy, get together with your children and go out for the day. Shopping, parks, museums, running, lunch, whatever you like doing will be great. If none of your friends have a child, go out to these places and meet people. Do a mommy and me group. Check in your neighborhood/city and see if there is a group.
    It is normal to have those feelings. Let no one tell you that something may be wrong with you. Get out of the house with other young mothers and your life will be better for it.
    If you feel that you may hurt your child or yourself,, tell your parents immediately and seek emotional help. You are not alone.

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