My Wife Has An Alcohol Problem

Dear Sara,

My wife and I have been married ten years and have two beautiful girls. She was almost full term when she lost our son two years ago. Since then she has been very depressed and drinking to the point where I am sure she is alcoholic. She has been to therapy but refuses to go to AA. I am at my wits end. I can’t take care of her and the girlsĀ  and work too. I am considering divorce but I’m afraid of what my wife might do. How can I keep my family together?
-Riley

Dear Riley,

You sound pretty lost here. Your wife took the death of her baby really hard but you had a loss as well with no one for you to lean on. Your first responsibility is to your girls. Make sure that they are safe and well taken care of. If you have to, put them in daycare and make sure that they are fed and tucked in at night.

If your wife chooses alcohol over her family, it’s not your responsibility to take care of her. It’s called codependent when you clean up after her and make excuses for her behavior. This is not good for you and will enable her to keep on drinking. You can’t control her or make her stop drinking. You can only take care of yourself and your girls.

This is a very difficult time for your wife but you can let her know that you can’t allow her to ruin her daughter’s lives along with her own. Encourage her to do what she needs to do to get her life back to normal.

Good luck.
-Sara

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