/My Husband Left Us…

My Husband Left Us…

Dear Sara,

My husband of ten years lost his job and decided that he didn’t want to be with his family any more and went back to Mexico to be with his family there. I have a pretty good job so I have been able to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads. The main problem is that my kids miss him very much and blame me for his leaving. It was not my idea or my fault but they are acting out and are very disrespectful to me. What can I do to get things back to normal?

Dear Maria,

It’s very difficult to be a single Mom, especially when you are used to having the support of your husband to back you up. It will take some time to establish your authority and for the kids to settle into a different routine. Your kids have had a major loss, almost like a death because your husband left so suddenly. They need your patience and understanding and as much attention as you can give them. You may want to establish some new family traditions like game night or a family night out for pizza or burgers to let them see that you are still a family.

This is not to say that you should let them get away with being disrespectful. That is not OK. If you have not give them a consequence for this then it’s time to start. If they are small then a time out is appropriate . Bigger kids can lose TV or game time or whatever you think is appropriate. This is a major upset for your kids and it will take some time for them to adjust. When they are older they will appreciate what a good Mom you are.