Our fourteen-year-old daughter sneaked out Saturday night to go to a party at her friend’s house. She had asked us if she could go and told me that she couldn’t attend because we found out that her friend’s older brother was giving the party and the crowd would be kids who were seventeen and eighteen. She waited until we went to bed and had someone pick her up at the end of our block I just happened to get up and looked in her room to find that she was gone. She is grounded for now but we wonder if we were being too strict by not letting her go to the party.
Your rules are for your daughter’s safety and she has to accept the fact that she can’t defy them and do as she pleases. Apparently her friend invited her since the party was at her house and she felt entitled. The brother might not have been aware of the invitation. At times fourteen-year-olds tend to think that they are more mature than they really are.
Are you against kids having parties or was this just because the crowd was older? If the parents were at home and there was no alcohol involved, this might have been safe enough for your daughter. Supervised parties are a way for kids to get together with their friends and become social. They need some safe ways to hang out and have fun. You did the right thing by grounding your daughter. Let her know that you care about her safety and will check on any party she is invited to.