Moving On With A New Man

Dear Sara,

I have been divorced for four years and have been dating a man for one year and we plan to get married. My six year old daughter loves him and has never said anything about not liking him or not wanting him around, but she does pout if she sees us holding hands or hugging. She says “you are giving him all my loving.” I hug, kiss and tell her I love her all the time and try to make her feel like she is a priority, even more, when he is around but it upsets him when she makes these comments because he is not sure if this is normal behavior or a real problem.
Please help.
-Amanda




Dear Amanda,

Your daughter has had you all to herself for a while and she doesn’t want to share. She may also feel left out of your twosome. It’s probably normal for her to feel some jealousy. If you plan to get married then the three of you will be a family It may be that your daughter feels that your fiance is excluding her. You sound like you are very loving toward your daughter and she is probably aware of your love for her, so she may feel insecure about how your fiance feels about her. Try to put yourself in her place. She is seeing you giving your new love a lot of attention and he is returning this attention. If you and he can include her more she may begin to feel more secure. Time will take care of her feelings of jealousy.
-Sara

Comments

  1. Just tell your daughter to grin and bear it. You need love to but from an older person who you love also. My Fiance has three kids when we started dating and now we are together and her kids love me. Just hang in there and she will come around. OH! by the way I’m 71 and she is 58 so age doesn’t mean a thing, if he’s older than you. He loves you and your daughter and if heswears to protect both of you he is a good man, so keep him.

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