Moving On After Spouse’s Death

Dear Sara,

I’ve been a widow for four years now. My husband Ron was killed in a hunting accident. My youngest son was three and my older son was four when he died. We still talk about their Dad. They are in school now and I have a job. I am lonely and have been asked out on dates several times. I hesitate accepting because I don’t want to upset my boys. I will be 29 soon and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without a partner. What can I do to try to have a life of my own but still keep my boys safe and happy?
-Connie




Dear Connie,

I am so sorry for your loss. It’s good that you talk to the boys about their Dad. I hope you all have some fun things to remember. You might start by preparing them little by little that someday you might want to have some other man in your family’s life. Don’t make a big deal out it, just present the idea to them. They probably haven’t thought about this possibility. Answer the inevitable questions the best you can.

If you want to date someone, you might think about meeting him somewhere else until things become serious. It might not be a good idea to have a series of men for your boys to meet. Take your time and try to find someone who likes kids. Your boys will be in your home for a long time and in your life for as long as you live. I hope you can find someone who fits into your family. Just take things slowly.
-Sara

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