Mom At 15 Years Old

Dear Sara,

I am fifteen years old and have just found out that I am pregnant. I only had sex once and I didn’t
think that I could get pregnant after one time. I have told my Mom and she and my Dad think I should give the baby up for adoption. Mom has a job and she said she is absolutely not going to raise my child. I think I could go stay with my grandma. She love me a lot and would probably help me, but she’s not so young any more. I feel really alone in this and the boy I was with said the baby isn’t his. I know I can’t do this by myself but what can I do?
-Hilary




Dear Hilary,

This pregnancy is not going to be easy for you. No matter what you end up doing, either way you are going to have a difficult time. The baby you are carrying is going to be part of you and you would probably always yearn for it and wonder about it if you choose to give it up. Being a full time Mom at your age is going to be a lot harder than you think it is even if you had your parents support. You are going to miss out on all the carefree activities your friends will enjoy. I would guess that boys your age would not want to date a girl with a baby.

If you get to keep your baby there will be times when you have to choose between what you want and what is good for your child. You will have to grow up really fast to take on this new responsibility that your little baby will bring. Why don’t you find someone to talk to like a school counselor who can help you through all this.

I hope everything works out for the best. Let me know how you are doing.
-Sara

Comments

  1. SO thankful that abortion didn’t enter into this conversation! Thanks so much for not considering that as an option! You didn’t say how old your grandmother is or if she’s in good health, but I will share that MY grandmother took her grandson to raise when she was 65 years old and did a phenomenal job. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for her, but the grandson turned out to be a fine, decent man, so she had her reward for her efforts. Have you discussed this with your grandmother? Is she willing? I also think you should have a discussion with the parents of this baby’s father. He does have some responsibility, and a DNA test will confirm if he’s the father. He should not get by with shirking his responsibility here! If you have a pastor, he/she may be able to guide you. I’m thinking an open adoption might be a good solution, where you could still be involved in the baby’s life. The adoptive parents (you you could choose) could be with you through your pregnancy and delivery. Something to consider. Wishing you all the best in making a good decision.

    • Vernon Kist says:

      Sharon :Good advise.

    • I don’t think it’s right to drag the grandmother (or any other relative) into this. She’ll feel obligated and guilt-ridden if she’s not in a position to take on raising a baby. The GIRL thought she was old enough for unprotected sex so she should be able to figure out what to do with HER baby. She needs counselling ASAP.

  2. I am an adoptive parent, having adopted two kids. In both circumstances we have open adoptions and the kids know who their birth parents are and see them from time to time. My daughter is now 21 and she goes camping with her birth dads fily every year on a family trip. It has been wonderful for all involved. We were in a position and timing to provide for the kids when it would have been a struggle for the young girls. I know it is a tough decision but the first and most important one is to give them the gift of life. MayGod bless you and give you piece as you journey through this time.

  3. Granny in Ga says:

    All 3 of my kids are adopted. I am thankful for them and for their birth parents, who gave me my greatest happiness. I encourage this young woman to place her child with a family that will love the baby and then to finish her own education and go on with her life. It will require courage but she can do it.

    • Granny in GA has the best option! Don’t rule out adoption – especially an open adoption – and finish school. At 15 is MUCH too young to be tied down with a child and you’ll always wonder what you missed out on while raising a child.

  4. Hi Hillary. I went through the same thing when I was very young. It was so difficult at times. But that being said, my son braught so much joy to my life, that I honestly don’t know what I would do without him. for me, it was the best decision I have ever made. Pray about this matter, then pray, and then pray some more. Put it in God’s hands, there’s no situation that he cannot handle. May god bless you, and you baby. You are sooo blessed

  5. Great observation on how difficult this will be but terrible advice. School councilor will pressure her to go to the abortion mill. Sharon’s comments are right on.

  6. Bad Penguin says:

    I’m sorry that you didn’t also mention that the young man who got her pregnant must be made to step up and support his child. He, like the young lady, must learn that with the fun comes the responsibilities that come with the bringing a new life into the world. I have a neighbor whose daughter gave birth at age 14. The father, age 16, is driven by his grandmother every Sunday to see the baby and its obvious to everyone that he wouldn’t be there if his grandmother wasn’t making him. He’s learning the responsibilities of life.

  7. Most cities have some sort of pregnancy outreach group. Here in Montana there is Pregnancy Outreach, LaVie, Lutherans for Life. See if there’s one somewhere near you. They will help you through the pregnancy with medical care and education and work with you on the best decision for you and your child, whether it be adoption or keeping it. What ever you decide will be supported by people who have your and the baby’s welfare in mind

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