Is My Son Wasting His Life Away?

Dear Sara,

My eighteen-year-old son has graduated from high school and is enrolled in the college in our area. He has refused to attend. All of his life we have talked about him going to college and then on to medical school. One of his first toys was a doctor’s set. This has always been my dream for him but he said that he wants to play in a band with his friends instead. They are petty good but I can’t see them going anywhere except locally. I feel like he is wasting his life. What can I do or say to make him see that he is making a wrong choice?


Dear Laura,

When kids reach the age that your son is now, they feel that they are old enough and smart enough to make their own choices. You have to hope that the way you have parented him has equipped him to make good choices. The dream that you have had all these years may have been your dream but not your son’s. He may have agreed with you to make you happy but when the time came to follow through, he decided to follow what he thinks is right for him.

See if you can get your son to at least go to college part time and drop your insistence on medical school. He may be more agreeable to attending school if you let up on the pressure. Be supportive of his musical career but let him know that continuing school is in his best interest even if he doesn’t feel he needs a degree. You have had a dream all these years and you must be terribly disappointed but this is your son’s life and he is determined to make his own choices.


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