Is Divorce the Right Answer?

Dear Sara,

I have two children ages eight and eleven. I have a full-time job that pays very well but my husband only works a couple of days a week and doesn’t seem too interested in a full-time job. He’s usually asleep when I leave in the morning and I am in charge of getting the kids off to school. He does make dinner when I get home in the evening. The last few years we don’t seem to have anything in common but the children and we go our separate ways. I am thinking about a divorce because I don’t have any feelings for him and wish for someone more like me with some energy. I keep wondering if this is realistic or possible.

Dear Charlotte,

The ones whose lives would be upset the most by a divorce are your children. Even though you are unhappy, is this having an effect on them? Your husband seems to be taking care of them while you are at work. Although he doesn’t seem to have a lot of energy it sounds like their needs are being taken care of by him. If they are sick and out of school he is probably there to see to taking care of them, It sounds like you think less of him because he is OK with taking care of the kids. A divorce is going to be hardest on your kids. Why don’t you try some marriage counseling and see if you can make your marriage work at least until the kids get older.

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