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Welcome to ParentingwithSara.com
featuring Parenting Advice, Child
Care and Child Raising Advice.  Sara
not only has children and grand
children, but also has a degree in
Psychology, a masters degree in
Family Counseling and was a family
specialist in Lousville, Ky for more
than 10 years.
Dear Sara answers parenting and child raising
questions from readers, new columns are
posted on Mondays and Thursdays, this column
was published February
25, 2010


Dear Sara,
I know this isn’t about parenting but
it may eventually affect my kids if I
get a divorce.  I am angry and hurt
and depressed.  I wanted to have a
romantic evening on Valentine’s  
day.  I sent my 2 kids to their
grandparents’ house and had plans
for a romantic dinner with all of my
husband’s favorite foods.  

He took off and went to his buddy’s
house to watch basketball.  I hadn’t
told him my plans and I guess he
didn’t think about Valentine’s  day. I
ate dinner about 8:00 PM and he
came home around 10:00PM.  I just
went to bed without saying
anything.  He didn’t have a clue why
I was upset.  I don’t know how to
handle this lack of caring.  Any  
suggestions?

JoAnna

Dear JoAnna

It sounds like you have a
communication problem.  Your
husband doesn’t have a clue how
much a romantic evening means to
you.  If he didn’t grow up in an
atmosphere where men were
romantic, he may be unaware of your
feelings or just uncomfortable with
them.

It’s up to you to be very clear to your
husband what your expectations are.  
Don’t leave it up to him to guess.  He
needs an education in how to be
romantic.  If you expect a romantic
evening and a gift, it won’t be quite
as romantic but tell him what you
want, preferably a week ahead of
time.  Don’t expect him to read your
mind.  If you want something special
for Christmas, Easter  or birthday, be
very clear with him.

Your kids need to grow up seeing a
father who tries to please their Mom.  
It gives your kids a sense of security
to know their parents love each other .

If being very clear about your needs
with your husband doesn’t work, then
you may need to schedule a session
with a marriage therapist.  Good luck.

Sara