I’m A Father Looking For A Second Chance

Dear Sara,

I have been an alcoholic since I was in my teens. It has been getting progressively worse over the years. I have been a mean abusive father to my children ages now eleven and fourteen. I am truly sorry for that. I would like to earn back their love and trust but they don’t want to have anything to do with me. I am in AA now (for the second time) and have just gotten my one year token. I have a sponsor and I’m working on my twelve steps. I really want a relationship with my kids now. What can I do?

Dear Larry,

There is no magic answer. What you have done you can’t undo and trust has to be earned. If you were drinking and abusive for a long time don’t expect the kids to accept you in less time. Talk to their mother to see if you can help out in small ways. Let her know that you will help out in any way that you can.

Children that age need lots of transportation to their different activities. As long as you stay sober you can help out with that. Don’t try to be their best buddy, just listen if they want to talk. Try really hard to be there for them when they need you. If they lash out at you, just apologize with all your heart. You know by now that you just have to take one day at a time. I wish you luck with your kids.