Grandchild’s Indecent Attire

Dear Sara,

My teenage granddaughter lives with me because she wants to go to high school with her friends. Her parents moved to another state and she wants to graduate with her friends. For the most part she is a good kid but she wears some things that are on the verge of indecent. Some are so short that you can see to the top of her legs and T-shirts are so tight that nothing is left to the imagination. Some things just look odd and make no sense. What can I do to get her to dress more modestly?
-Grandma Julie

Dear Grandma Julie,

It is so important to teen girls to be one of the crowd. I’m sure she thinks she fits in and looks fine and that’s what is important to her right now.

If her way of dressing really bothers you, you might want to take her shopping for clothes and see if you can come up with some compromises. I’m sure that there are stylish clothes that she would like and that you would approve of. Be warned though, teens like the name brands that have a big price tag so you might have to spend more than you thought to get her to wear clothes that don’t offend you.

Good luck,


  1. Been there, done that. Same situation. Pick your battles, Granny. This is one you’re not likely to win. I didn’t. This was several years ago and she’s turned into a lovely young woman. Be patient.

  2. I alsways took for granted that I was the adult and also the one paying for the clothes. I had the last word on whether or not it went home with us or not. There was a dress code as far as length of hemline and how low it the top was.

    • No one said the Grandmother was paying for her clothes. And let’s face it-this same old argument has been going on for years. Hair too long,jeans too tight,girls hair too short,mini skirts,bikinis,going commando,guys w/earrings,green hair,torn jeans,and on and on and on. And it will always be like this. So,what? I get the concern of the Grandmother,but all you’re doing by “restricting” the clothes is stifling creativity and individuality. Christ,how many of us had our parents screaming at us because of something we were wearing? Chances are 99% of us turned out ok.

  3. We had 9 daughters — and they knew they weren’t going to get away with wearing anything too short, too tight, or cut low. It was just the way it was – and when one decided to disrespect herself and wear something she shouldn’t have (snuck it out in her backpack) and we heard about it , her father went to the school, found out which class she was in, knocked at the door, and told her to come back home and change into something decent. It never happened again ! Girls have to learn to respect themselves first and then they usually won’t do things like that as a rule… I think some just want more attention from someone than they are getting and think that’s the way to get it ! Modesty is a virtue that has to be taught and valued, early on.. It’s up to the parents or guardians of the children to do this but it’s also up to the schools and churches to support it… Society surely won’t !!

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