Getting Used To A New City

Dear Sara,

My husband is in management at a big company and was just promoted so we moved to a new city. We have two teen sons in high school. The problem is that we are black and the neighborhood we moved into is white and I feel like a total outsider. I gave up a part-time job when we moved and the neighbors here don’t seem very friendly. I miss my friends and don’t seem to be making new ones. What should I do?

Dear Ella,

I am not sure your color is the problem with your neighbors. It seems that these days both couples work and the old neighborhoods where everybody knew each other and got together are few and far between.

It’s going to be up to you to get involved in community activities if you want to meet people and make friends. There are things you can do to meet people and make friends like volunteer at your kid’s school, join the neighborhood association if there is one or find some charitable group that needs your help. It’s normal to miss your friends and family that you left behind and this has got to be difficult for you. If you follow your interests then you will probably meet potential friends.

Good luck.


  1. Colette Anderson says:

    Join your local Lions Club. The largest service organization in the world who are looking to increase their female membership.

  2. I have nice, longtime neighbors and we are all friendly. But my real friendships are ladies I met in exercise classes at the YMCA where I go 3 times a week, and my “life group” at my church. These are the ladies I can call on and socialize with.

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