Financially Irresponsible Teen

Dear Sara,

My only child, a girl, is graduating from high school this year and has plans to go to college. She is very immature and has gotten herself in trouble several times. I let her use my credit card and she used it to the limit and came to me wondering why I refused to let her use it any more. She hasn’t any sense when it comes to finances. I’ve tried to explain things but she doesn’t seem to understand. She seems to have this carefree attitude that nothing bad will happen. How can I let her go off to college when I know she can’t take care of herself?

Dear Christine,

You have been your daughter’s protector for all of her life. Maybe she hasn’t learned yet that her actions may have consequences. I know that you are worried about her getting hurt but how will she learn to take care of herself if you are always there to make sure she doesn’t fail. She has to grow up sometime so allow her this opportunity. She may have some problems but give her the opportunity to figure things out on her own. You are used to her clinging to you so it may feel bad for you to let go. She needs her own wings for a while.

Good luck.


  1. Abraham Lincoln once went to a slave market where a young black female was being auctioned off he decided to buy her and then set her free after she ass where do I go from here I don’t know anything about anything so I guess I’ll go with you.
    this is why parents need to stop trying to be a friend of their children and be a parent a teacher” Proverbs says train a child in the way it should go and when it gets cold it will not part from it “. If you don’t train him or her someone else will and it won’t be Abraham Lincoln

  2. anonymous says:

    Bravo for this answer!! I am the recipient of a situation much like this. Listen to this advice! I was married to a man who’s daughter depended on him for everything, played parents against each other to get what she wanted and used his cc to buy drinks for her friends at the bar. My pleading ( on eggshells, mind you) for him to let her grow up and be responsible for her actions, went to defensive ears (she’s my little girl and what she does is ok with me! {are you kidding me!!}) Long story short, we are no longer married. I know she is your only child, but for heaven’s sake, our job as a parent is to teach our children how to grow up and be responsible adults. I found it was too easy for him to keep ‘being the protector’ than to be the teacher, but children don’t learn from being enabled. Let go the apron strings and she may surprise you!

  3. anonymous says:

    I will add, his daughter is now 31 and still playing that game………once the child learns what benefits them the most, they have a hard time adapting to change, but they can do it!

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