Drama Among Friends

Dear Sara,

My seventeen-year-old daughter is really upset. She has been dumped by her boyfriend who has started “going with” one of her friends in their group. She is angry, depressed and embarrassed and feels awkward socializing with them. How can I help her deal with this sticky situation?
-Ginny




Dear Ginny,

This type of situation is fairly common among teens. They meet someone and fall “madly in love” and soon the romance cools and there is someone else to be interested in. This seems to be part of the process of choosing a mate. It is very uncomfortable for one or the other if this doesn’t happen at the same time. The next time your daughter may be the one who loses interest first.

This doesn’t keep her from having very acute feelings of loss, however. Your job here is to listen and let her tell you how she feels. Let her cry and vent if she wants and don’t give advice or try to fix things. She will eventually work things out with her friends. Mostly she just needs some time to get over her feelings of rejection. There may very well be some young man waiting to be a replacement.

Shopping is also good therapy and a new outfit might lift her spirits somewhat. This can be a good time for you and your daughter to do some things that you like to do together. I hope things return to normal soon.
-Sara

Comments

  1. Unfortunately democrats and other liberals frown on disciplining children. Their philosophy is “feel good” which has permeated our schools and is why we have the problem.

  2. Tell your daughter just because he lost interest in her doesn’t mean everyone else has.

  3. SERIOUSLY !! Retail therapy … youv’e got to be kidding … more stuff will not make her feel more valuable … any wonder our children are so messed up and shallow …

  4. Parents need to talk more with their children about many things, including when the child thinks they have found that special one and prepare them for the possibility of things not working out as their child expects. Also, the best way for our daughters not to get pregnant is to not allow the boys to kiss them. After they start kissing is normally when they stop keeping their knees closed and their legs crossed!

  5. This happens all the time ~~ but, if the young people of today would be dating, like those of us who grew up in the 50′s, it wouldn’t be as traumatic. With dating, you went out with a lot of different boys/girls — not just one, unless you went steady, which wasn’t too smart to do unless you were going to marry that person ! Dating didn’t limit you to going everywhere with the same person – and you got to know lots of different people and learned what kind of personalities you like being around and which ones you didn’t. Some were terrrific dancers, some could bowl really well, some were funny, others more serious , some talked a lot, others were more quiet — while often the best dates were spent at home with your family, playing board games or doing puzzles or playing with your younger brothers and sisters… You really got to know what a person was like back then and by the time you were old enough and ready to be serious, you had a good idea of what kind of person you could spend the rest of your life with and which ones your should avoid… You learn that you can love many people in different ways and for different reasons – but there is always that ONE special person you will love…. Married 60 years….

  6. Dear Ginny,

    It’s heart breaking that she was hurt by
    a guy like that and it may take time for
    her to get over him. However; reassure
    her their are plenty of decent guys out
    there that probably have more in common
    with her interests. She is only seventeen and
    she will instinctively know when she’s made a real
    connection with a guy who actually is interested
    in her for the person she is and all her good
    qualities.

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