I’ve been married to my husband for fifteen years. He’s funny and loveable but he is also alcoholic and stays out all night and cheats on me. I still love him but I don’t want to live with him anymore. We have two great kids, ages thirteen and ten and they love their Dad a lot. I feel guilty but I really want a divorce. What can I do to make things easier for them?
This will be a big change for your kids, however at their ages they may have already discovered their Dad’s problems even if they haven’t discussed it with you. They don’t need to know the details, they just need to know that you and their Dad can’t live together anymore but you both still love them a lot. Let them know that you have decided on a divorce and take them to counseling if you feel it necessary.
Don’t make them choose between you and their Dad. Even if you are angry don’t bad mouth him to your kids. This might make you feel better but it will only hurt them in the long run.
Shared custody is good but only if your husband agrees to be sober when he is with them. Don’t let them in the car with him if he has been drinking.