Daughter Hates How She Looks

Dear Sara,

My thirteen-year-old daughter is very dissatisfied with the way she looks. She thinks she is too fat (she’s not), too tall (she’s 5’7) and that her nose is too big (some kid in her class made a comment about it). He concept of herself is that she is ugly. She has nice hair and good posture and up until now has been a happy little girl. What can I do to give her a more realistic image of herself? She doesn’t believe me when I tell her she looks good.


Dear Ron,

This is the age that kids begin to think more about how they look and what other people think about them. Girls especially want to look like the current favorite on TV and compare themselves unfavorably. This is also a time for tears from hormones swings when everything seems terrible. At thirteen she may be taller than some of the boys in her age group who haven’t reached their full height. This can seem awkward but soon they will gain their full height and she won’t feel so tall. It will take a while for the problem to resolve itself but let her know that the reason that tall women are picked as models is because clothes look better on them.

If everyone looked the same, we would have a very boring world. Tell your daughter to be proud of being unique.


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