Dating Dilemma

Dear Sara,

My fourteen year old daughter has been invited to a school dance by a sixteen year old boy. He has his license and is allowed to drive his parent’s car so he could pick her up and take her to the dance. My husband and I can’t decide if we want her to start dating this early. We don’t know the boy or his parents so we’re unsure about what kind of person he is. Our daughter says he’s a great guy and we would really like him. I’m worried that she is infatuated with him and could make some poor choices. Do you think it’s OK for her to go to this dance with him?

Dear Isabel,

I’m sure it’s thrilling for your daughter to be asked out by a sixteen year old boy. She is going to be very disappointed and angry if you say she can’t go to this dance. Fourteen year olds often think of themselves as mature and grown up but they lack the experience to make good choices.

Maybe you could compromise a little. You could take her to the dance and pick her up afterward so that she could meet him there. She probably won’t like this option but it might be a compromise that you could both live with. If you tell your daughter that she can’t see her young man at all, she may be tempted to sneak out to meet him and then you would have a difficult situation to deal with. If she wants to see him later it could be at your home when you are there.

Good luck.

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