Dating After Divorce

Dear Sara,

I have been divorced for three years and I am considering dating again. I have a boy age eleven and a girl nine. Are there any guidelines regarding how to introduce a new boyfriend into the family?

Dear Didi,

It may be better to postpone introducing your new boyfriend into the family until you think that you may have a serious relationship. It could be very confusing for your kids to meet a series of men. Since the man in your life has been their father, whether a good relationship for you or not, they will probably feel conflicted about any new relationships that you have. It may be OK to let them know where you are going and what your plans are but it’s not a good idea to confide in them about your relationships even though you may be excited and want to talk about it.
When you feel that you have found someone that you could share your life with, introduce him gradually. Give the kids time to get to know him. Even if you think you may have someone who will be a permanent relationship, it may not work out the way you think it will. Be cautious and take your time.

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