/Crushing On An Older Man

Crushing On An Older Man

Dear Sara,

My fifteen year old daughter seems to have a crush on a man on our block. He appears to be in his early thirties and doesn’t seem interested in her but I feel that this makes her vulnerable in case he does become interested. She has baked him brownies and if she sees him outside she will try to engage him in conversation. How can I convince her that this isn’t going to happen?

Dear Mark,

So far it appears that your neighbor doesn’t have an interest in your daughter and most thirty something guys are wise enough not to mess with a fifteen year old girl. He may not be aware of her feelings, however. If you have a chance you could have a neighborly talk with him and let him know how your daughter feels. Let him know that you aren’t angry with him and that you understand how teens can get a crush on someone. You can also suggest that he gently discourage her.

There isn’t much you can do to change a fifteen year old’s feelings. Sometimes crushes last a while and sometimes they fade quickly. The unobtainable will last longer because there is more fantasy than reality. Your daughter will eventually be interested in a boy her own age and probably will have several crushes along the way to adulthood.