Clashing With Parents Over Freedom

Dear Sara,

I am sixteen years old and my parents are trying to control my life. They want me to go to college so they go over my class schedule and tell me which classes to take. They insist that I keep my grades up to a B average or I can’t go out on the weekends. On school nights I have to be in bed by 10:00 PM with my homework already done. I feel like they are on my case every minute of the day. I feel suffocated by their constant attention. How can I get them to ease up?
-Jenna




Dear Jenna,

It sounds like your parents really care about you and your future well being. If they didn’t care they might let you do whatever you want. At sixteen you probably think that you are grown and can think for yourself. You parents have “been there done that” and can see that a good education is a foundation that you need to have success in life. As you get older you will have more freedom and will be able to make your own decisions. Right now you have to listen to your parents. Be glad you have parents who care about your future welfare.
-Sara

Comments

  1. Charlie Mills says:

    I think you make a good point about listening to your parents at 16. . I do want to state that although a good education is an ingredient for success, a lot of individuals can be successful without having a good education. I guess it depends on how you define (success).

  2. VIMALA PADMARAJ says:

    DEAR SARA,
    I REALLY PRAISE YOU FOR THE EXCELLENT ADVICE YOU HAVE GIVEN JENNA.
    JENNA YOU SHOULD FALL ON YOUR KNEES AND THANK GOD FOR A FATHER AND MOTHER
    WHO TRULY CARE FOR YOUR FUTURE.
    DON’T GET CARRIED AWAY BY YOUR PEERS “FREEDOM”.
    I ASSURE YOU WILL HAVE A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE.
    LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS JENNA.

  3. C. R. Jones says:

    Sara, somewhere in the back of my mind is a remark by some famous person about how ignorant his parents were when he was a teenager, but how much he recognized their wisdom as he got older. At 16 you still have a lot to learn about life; listen to your parents – they’ve been there. And good luck, and have a wonderful future.

  4. C. R. Jones says:

    My comment to Sara should have been addressed to Jenna. Sorry, should have been more careful.
    C R Jones

  5. Dear Jenna, My parents were good ones but worked a lot. I was 16 yrs old. The decisions I made at your age have followed me throughout my entire life. I have suffered, my children have suffered and my grandchildren have suffered. If there was one thing in life I wish I could have a ‘do over’ on, it would be that my parents would have fit the description of yours. I can imagine you feel suffocated right now, but better that feeling than being old and watching your loved ones endure what mine have gone through. Just try and thank God for your parents protection. You will be ‘free’ for years to come, if you make good decisions now with your parents help. God bless you.

  6. Caterina Guarino says:

    Dear Sara,
    I think answer to your question is unrealistic, I know that parents CAN be smothering, and I also believe you just can’t tell a teenager to “just listen to your parents”.. Parents run children off , often times. Doesn’t matter wether or not it’s the best thing to do. I’ve known several parents that have done that and driven their children away. If it were me responding to Jenna, I would tell her to perhaps have a nice talk with her parents and start out by saying how much she loves them and appreciate them, but she’d like for them to respect her views and maybe back off a little. Tell them how she “feels like” she’s being controlled. If they are good parents I’m sure they will be happy to compromise and maybe realize that it’s important they do consider her opinion. You can’t make your childrens decisions..I’m writing this from personal experience. I could have forced my children to pursue what “I” wanted but they had their own ideas (imagine that) and they are all 3 successful and doing well. If someone had said to them “listen to your parents” it would not have been a good outcome. So I’m sorry Sara I don’t agree with your response.

  7. Concerned Parent says:

    Dear Sara,

    Now a days the university (AU) that my daughter goes to, does not want parents to be involved with their child’s grade. I don’t thing that’s right. Also they try to keep the parents away with any communications as much as possible. Its worrisome. As per your advice we are the same way with our kids education and would like to be involved with how they are doing and their well being. But guess now a days colleges and Universities are just business and sexting clubs. Sometimes the law does not allow parents to be too involved as the kids are considered adults and kids take that liberty of “Its my life”… Sorry for such strong feelings, but its a fact.

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