Caught Sons Smoking

Dear Sara,

I can’t tell you how upset I am. I have two sons ages nine and twelve. I caught them smoking today. The reason I am so upset is that my mother died of lung cancer. She was only forty-two years old when she died and I still miss her so much. I can remember growing up how my clothes and hair smelled like smoke. I have told my sons about the dangers of smoking and they still tried it. What can I do to make them understand?

Dear Angie,

I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have presented the facts to your sons and this hasn’t made enough of an impact. Why don’t you try telling your sons about your feelings? You could say “I feel so scared when you smoke because I don’t want you to die like my mother did.” Or you could say”I felt angry with my Mom because she smoked and then died and left me without her love and affection.” I’m sure that you can think of other feelings that you have now or when you were growing up.

If you still have family members who smoke and have tried to quit maybe they could talk to your sons and let them know what a hard habit smoking is to kick. Your sons don’t have the experience to know what they are getting into.
Good luck.

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