35, Unmarried and Thinking about Artificial Insemination

Dear Sara,

I am thirty-five years old unmarried and no prospects in sight. I love children and I have always thought of myself as being married and having a family. I am thinking about artificial insemination. I am pretty sure that I would be OK financially since I have enough money saved up to see me through for the first year and pay my medical expenses. I have this now or never feeling. Does this plan have any chance of working?

-Teri


Dear Teri,

When a woman feels the need to hold a baby in her arms, this instinct is extremely difficult to resist Apparently your pull toward motherhood is very strong. Raising a child under any circumstances can be thankless, frustrating and difficult. You will face many challenges alone if you decide to do this. I hope you have some family for backup when you need help.

You sound like you have made your mind up already. Go to some parenting classes and make sure you have a good idea about what you need to know to raise your child to be a successful adult. You may experience a challenge when it comes time to explain to your son or daughter that their father was an anonymous sperm donor. There could be some emotional problems especially during the teen years when kids are trying to find their own identities so be prepared.

If you decide to go ahead with your plan (and I think you will) try to be very supportive of your child when they are feeling the loss of a father figure.

-Sara

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